
Home Trustees Articles & Information Organisations Dissociation Trauma Attachment Self Harm Sexual & Ritual Abuse Working Approaches Spiritual Dimension of Recovery Books Book Reviews Book List (by Author) PDF Book List (by Title) PDF Book List (by Year) PDF Training Links Membership Contact	The Spiritual Dimension of Recovery The value of love, acceptance and support Unpredictable and confusing behaviour Challenges for the church Good practice by the church Good practices in caring Caring guidelines Caring for the carers Understanding Spirituality and Faith-Fowler’s Stages or States of Faith Child Abusers in the Church Helpful, Hopeful or Harmful – how is church life for survivors? The Place of Spirituality in Therapy The value of love, acceptance and support What we believe will make an extraordinary difference to our life Being believed in will also profoundly alter how we view ourselves and the world Our faith, belief and spirituality is therefore a very important resource that is available to us to help us deal with life’s demands As a Christian, our faith, belief and spirituality provides, knowledge, hope and experience of “help” beyond ourselves. It also enables us to understand that we are not alone. We are also part of a body of believers who can provide mutual encouragement, support, prayers and fellowship It is also evident from many sources that love, acceptance and support are the most critically important ingredients for any survivor of early life trauma and abuse to receive and experience, if they are ever going to learn to trust again and to be able to make a journey of recovery Even if someone has been ritually abused and is not able to face going into a church, or taking part in church activities, the previous five statements still hold true If the church fails to reach out to survivors and provide an accepting and containing environment then many survivors may be denied the very resources they need to recover However this is not an alternative to appropriate therapeutic help; it is complimentary to it [back to top...] Unpredictable and confusing behaviour It may sometime be alarming when individuals behave in an unpredictable or inconsistent way We may find some other people’s responses perplexing or even difficult and will want to try to make sense of what we encounter It may be easy for us to come to judgments about the other person based on our own experience. We may feel intolerance of behaviour that we ourselves have not experienced and may dismiss it as unreasonable without understanding why it is happening “The behaviour is not the problem it is the solution to the problem – so what is the problem?” If we can appreciate that a person’s behaviour is their way of dealing with the difficulties that they experience, even if it is not the best way, then it may make it easier for us to accept them Examples of such behaviour might be: Being unreliable Difficulty in letting anyone too close to them Being over compliant and never saying “No” Over-reacting, being defensive or misinterpreting intentions Not being able to cope with Sunday services Being very communicative one minute and not the next Behaving bizarrely Outbursts of emotions Can we be a safe, containing and caring community? [back to top...] Challenges for the church Many survivors of extreme early life trauma, childhood sexual abuse and ritual abuse attempt to turn to the church for hope, succour and support For some, this is a life transforming experience that sustains them through life and supports therapeutic recovery For others, the church is experienced as a difficult place, where the survivor finds it hard to fit in. For survivors of ritual abuse, particularly satanic ritual abuse, there will be a constant tension that many church rituals and symbols will have been used in an inverted way as part of the abuse and torture they will have experienced. For them, many aspects such as: The communion The cross Circles of people Candles Chanting Particular words and liturgies Will trigger traumatic memories, fear, anxiety and flashbacks which will be painful, frightening and difficult to handle Love, acceptance, listening without intrusion will be important. Many who now hold a Christian faith struggle with not being accepted when they cannot take part in activities or services Will they be accepted in your church? [back to top...] Good practice by the church What helps Continued reminders that God loves them Inclusion without intrusion Finding out from them what helps Listening rather than telling Non judgmental acceptance Regular prayer support Practical help where needed Encouragement Visiting them as a person (not a survivor) What doesn’t help To be told that all you need is to... Trust God Believe in Jesus Receive the Holy Spirit Take it to the cross Oppressive and rigid teaching Demands that to be a good Christian you must; Take part in meetings regularly Read the Bible every day etc Over emphasis on the need to forgive A compliance to be under authority or control Being told that if you had faith you would... Or... that it’s a sin not to behave normally Heavy deliverance and spiritual abuse Expecting a quick recovery [back to top...] Good practices in caring An open minded attitude and the willingness to think the unthinkable and believe the unbelievable. A willingness to listen without judging Don’t try and take over Don’t try and make the survivor feel guilty about not seeing their family if they were the perpetrators. Don’t try and fit their experiences into what fits your world. They came a different way! Don’t tell them that their “other personalities don’t exist” – they do for them, and are part of their survival system. Try to get them to stay “in the present” when they are having a flashback to traumatic events, - look at the room, the pictures, feel the floor underneath your feet etc. The survivor needs to find someone who is entirely dependable for a time, in order to find their own independence. We all thrive with a secure attachment. Survivors of childhood sexual, physical and emotional abuse were wounded, violated and traumatised – they often come over as mistrustful and defensive. When they come to trust you they want to be with you every moment, which can be very wearing. [back to top...] Caring guidelines Don’t try to be saviour of the world – the post is filled! Rescuing – don’t – look at own limitations Abandoning – don’t - be reliable and consistent Boundaries – time, type of contact, not giving more than can be delivered long term Being prepared to “be there” Not disempowering [back to top...] caring for the carers Develop or have pastoral care guidelines Provide supervision and support Recognise that carers can sometimes get traumatised Build in accountability whilst respecting confidentiality For people with high needs adopt a team approach Respect the need for anonymity – not everyone needs to know – abuse survivors will feel re-abused if they are talked about Always consult the person concerned before liaising with other agencies Prayer support for pastoral carers If high level of trauma, get supervision and support from outside [back to top...] Understanding Spirituality and Faith-Fowler’s Stages or States of Faith Many survivors of early life trauma, childhood sexual abuse and ritual abuse turn, at some point in their life, to the church or to faith communities for support and hope. Tragically not everyone finds the acceptance and encouragement that was hoped for in such settings. Some even find they are subjected to oppressive teaching, control, and misunderstanding when their behaviour seems perplexing to others. Given that a person’s faith, beliefs and spirituality are a resource to them, particularly in times of tragedy and pain, how are we to make sense of how other people express their faith or beliefs? This question does not only apply to understanding of values and spirituality when we encounter people of another faith (or no faith at all), but also within the diversity of expressions of Christianity. Antagonism and misunderstanding can arise through a lack of appreciation of the notion of “spiritual journeying” and the diverse ways of expressing faith. One contribution that can assist in this appreciation is James Fowler’s concept of the six stages (or states) of faith shown below. FOWLER’S STAGES OR STATES OF FAITH Stage I - The Innocent - (Intuitive - Projective) Characteristics - Fantasy, Stories, Experiences and Imagery, both real and fantasy. Children tend to live in this stage, in a magical world where their understanding of God is usually found through family. They believe anything is possible. Stage II - The literalist (Mythical - Literal) Characteristics - able to organize experiences and categorise them. Ideas and stories are interpreted literally, as are adults’ explanations of faith. They begin to identify with a faith community, which may be religiously, politically or culturally defined. They locate themselves within the story they are told – the story that tells you who you are. Unable to stand back and view events from the position of a neutral observer and unable to reflect on own position or the position of others from a value free perspective. Here the child typically makes strong associations with people like us and is aware and often critical of those who are different. (Jamieson, 2002:114) Fowler suggests that 20% of the adult population may best be characterised by this kind of faith. These adults tend to appreciate churches where a more literal interpretation of Scripture is encouraged, along with offering security, deep conviction and commitment. God is viewed as stern, and being a just but loving parent, with rules and authoritative teaching being the norm. Stage III - The Loyalist (Synthetic - Conventional) This is a Conformist Stage in which the individual is acutely tuned to the expectations and judgements of significant others. It is a Tribal stage, where being part of the tribe is powerfully significant to the person - and being in a community of like-minded believers. May hold deep convictions and be loyal and committed workers and servers. Beliefs are typically not examined critically and are therefore tacitly held to. That is, they know what they know but are generally unable to tell you how they know something is true, except by referring to an external authority outside of themselves - “The Bible says” or “My Pastor teaches this”. We are socialized into our faith community, “ catching” our values and ways of thinking unconsciously from our peer and subculture. We are immersed in the thought system of our faith community like a fish that does not perceive the water it which it swims. (Testerman, 1995) They predominantly have a vision of God as an external, transcendent being with little reference to God as an imminent indwelling God. Among adults, this is the Stage most commonly found amongst church members. Most find enormous meaning in their faith, as they share in church activities - worship, prayer, mission, teaching etc. Many express a strong sense of belonging, “being at home” or having “arrived”. Emphasis is on the “family of believers”. Dualistic thinking is very prevalent: Christian/non-Christian; saved/unsaved, along with being a part of, and being accepted by the faith community. Stage IV - The Critic (Individual - Reflective) If the traditional answers stop making sense, Stage III collapses. The transition to Stage IV is probably the most difficult as it involves the greatest dismantling of what has been learnt and experienced. Often major upset precipitates transition beyond Stage III. It is characterised by an overt sense of self that will take responsibility for own actions, beliefs and values, and is prepared to stand against “significant others” of the past. This is often a courageous and difficult journey, with an emphasis on objectification and examination of the beliefs, values and expectations they have received. The Critic is able to stand alone in a group, and look in from the outside, to weigh up and evaluate without surrendering to the need to be “a part of”. There is increased resistance to just conforming to teaching, beliefs and actions, without some degree of analysis. In their critical examination, flaws, inconsistencies, over-simplification and unanswered aspects are all considered in order to be understood and reconciled. There is a greater emphasis on authenticity, congruence and consistency, along with autonomy and individual accountability. Relationships are no longer essential for the formation of personal identity. A person’s reference group tends to widen enormously. Symbols and rituals are only significant if they are experienced as carrying meaning and illustrating truth. Intellectual stimulus and challenge, along with debate are valued. Dependence on external sources of authority is resisted, as is the lack of freedom of choice. Stage V - The Seer (conjunctive) This Stage is not so easy to explain, as it encapsulates what seems to be contradicting aspects which, in themselves, are the heart of Stage V. The confident self, in a deeply rooted faith, becomes humbly aware of the depth of both the unconscious and the unknown. This process often coincides with the realization of the power and reality of death. This stage is seldom reached before midlife. In some respects, this Stage is similar to the wonders lived in Stage 1. Seeing once more through the lens of the imagination and intuition, we again come to live in a numinous universe of mystery, wonder and paradox. (Testerman, 1995) People at this stage love mystery and relish the vastness of the unknown; realizing that the more they understand, the more ‘unknown’ is opened up before them. They accept ‘…as axiomatic that truth is more multidimensional and organically interdependent than most theories or accounts of truth can grasp.’ (Fowler, 1995:186) Characterised by: A need to face and hold together polar tensions and opposites: young/old, male/female etc. A felt sense that truth is more multifarious and complex than most of the either/or categories of earlier stages. An acceptance of ambiguity, diversity and plurality. An increased receptivity to move beyond the meaning of Stage IV and embrace mystery in symbols, myths and liturgy in a post critical way. A genuine openness to the truth, traditions, and community other than one’s own (not to be equated with relativistic agnosticism.) Whilst holding a deep and committed belief, there is a much greater capacity to approach the world from a more embracing and inclusive position. Stage V believers can be a threat to others who want a “clearly defined” true-believers’ position, rather than the open uncompromising humility that is often encountered. Stage VI - The Saint (Universalizing) This Stage is the most difficult to understand. It is also very rare. It involves two major transitions: “Decentralization from self”, in which the self is removed from the centre of the locus of the individual’s life. It is a move beyond the usual human obsessions with survival, security and significance, coupled with a continued widening of the circle of “those who count”. A shift to the complete acceptance of the ultimate authority of God in all aspects of life. Fowler found that only 1.6% of the population operated at this stage. Of those over 61 years of age, examples might be Mother Teresa, Dietrich Bonhoeffer and Martin Luther King. In identifying the differing stages of faith and the progression through which an individual may travel, Fowler does not seek in any way to diminish or to imply that one stage is better than another. Rather, as Jamieson, (2002:111) writes of Fowler’s work, he is more interested in ‘how we believe (what he calls the operations of faith) than the what we believe (the contents of our faith).’ The earlier stages are identified with stages of childhood development and growing maturation. Just as it is critical for an adult to have had the space to mature through each stage of human development to grow into a secure functioning person, so too is the process of going through each stage of faith crucial to the development of an individual’s faith. Without the journey, much can be lost. However, it is important to emphasise that this journey has nothing to do with the amount of faith someone has, rather the type or way it is expressed. As Testerman describes, ‘Life can be viewed as a quest in which we seek to understand the world we find ourselves in, discover its meaning, and locate ourselves within the grand scheme of things. As we go about the lifelong business of constructing our intelligible worlds, we pass through different eras or stages in our life, in each of which we approach our meaning-making task quite differently.’ (Testerman, 1995) Progression to another stage of faith occurs when the current stage collapses. In the same way that a child goes to school and begins to realise that Mummy and Daddy don’t know everything, teacher knows more, so for many Christians, there comes a painful and heart searching time where they can no longer accept the totality of what their Vicar, Minister, Pastor says These transitions from one stage of faith to another can often be very disturbing. Another way of thinking of the stages is like a lens through which we view the world as we journey through life. Fowler’s work is based on his observations and listening to of hundreds of people. Although he speaks primarily of Christians, the same holds true of those of other faiths or none who are seeking to make sense of the world and their experience of living in it. As we work with our staff teams and with service users, words they use or values they hold will all be affected by the stage they are at in the way they express their faith. Recognising the diversity and benefits of our differing expression, rather than focussing on the differences, can only seek to enhance our lives together as human beings made in the image of God. Mike Fisher References: Fisher, L. (2004) Shaftsbury Society, C.P.D. Programme –Christian Distinctiveness (unpublished) Fisher, M. (2003) Willows Counselling Course – Christian Diversity (unpublished) Smith, Marion (2003) Ways of Faith – A handbook of adult faith development: North of England Institute for Christian Education, Durham Jamieson, Alan (2002) A Churchless Faith GB: Cromwell Press Testerman, John (1995) ‘Stages of Faith’ in A Today: Magazine Archives: Mar/Apr 1995;articles Fowler, James W. (1995) Stages of Faith USA: Harper Collins [back to top...] Child Abusers in the Church Notes for Leaders The Church aspires to be open to all. This lays it open to exploitation by those who would use it to gain access to children for the purposes of sexual abuse. At the same time it has a ministry to such offenders, and to those considered to be at risk of offending. This calls for understanding and sensitivity in Church leaders. A declaration of repentance, however sincere, should NEVER be taken as a guarantee against further offending. There is no cure for sex offending: treatment is available, but at best it equips an offender with techniques for identifying problematic situations, and for avoiding them. In an institutional setting such as a Church congregation, abuse rarely starts with an act, which constitutes an offence. Offences are preceded by a process of grooming by which abusers commend themselves to the children that they wish to target, and to the adults who would protect them (including Church leaders). Grooming may continue over many months or years. A useful technique for Church leaders is to negotiate a “Contract” between themselves and the “risky adult”. Such Contracts are not intended to be enforceable at law, but to lay down the mutual expectations of the parties. Such a Contract should be written to meet the needs of the particular case, but certain provisions are typical, i.e.: The “risky adult” would typically agree to take no part in the children’s ministry of the Church, and to have no unaccompanied contact with any child. (If the worship pattern permits this is often best achieved by an agreement not to attend services at which children would be present, such as Family Services). The Contract should make it clear that any deviation from its terms is likely to result in a referral to the statutory agencies (the Police and/or Social Services). The “risky adult” should not take any official role in the life of the Church, which would give respect, and authority that could then be used to gain trust and access to children and families. The manner in which information is imparted to the congregation is also important. Leaders need to be aware that it may include victims of the offender who have not yet come forward, or been identified as such. This requires special sensitivity in the public profession of repentance. Church leaders should never be afraid to seek advice. A situation, which to them may seem novel and frightening, will be familiar and manageable to others. In the Church of England expert advice is available in each Diocese from the Bishop’s Officer for Child Protection. If the “risky adult” leaves your Church you should do your utmost to notify the Church to which he or she is going, and also inform the Bishop’s Officer for Child Protection. Elizabeth Penlington Elizabeth has recently joined the Committee of TAG and looks forward to meeting us at the Conference in April. She has worked as a Consultant Pediatrician before retiring from the post of Principal Clinical Medical Officer for Children in Coventry. For 15 years she served as Adviser for Child Protection to the Bishop of Coventry, advising and training clergy and parishioners. [back to top...] Helpful, Hopeful or Harmful – how is church life for survivors? I have long believed that one of the safest places on earth for survivors of neglect, trauma and abuse should be in the heart of a caring Christian community. Please hear me when I say ‘one’ of the safest places. I’m not trying in any way to denigrate other therapeutic settings, caring communities or faiths. But rather, as a survivor and a Christian myself, I’m taking a moment to stand back and consider some of the ways that help or harm may come to survivors who venture into our midst. Inevitably my views have been drawn from my own experiences, as well as those of folk I have met in various roles as a friend, counselee, counsellor or health professional. So please accept this offering as undoubtedly flawed and incomplete but aimed at help not harm. Some of the things survivors may have gone through before they ever get inside a church include; attachment figures who fail to recognise or deliver their needs, or perhaps abandon them altogether; authority figures who ignore, manipulate, humiliate, intimidate, misuse or abuse; siblings or piers who overshadow, dominate, control or abuse; life partners who drain resources, betray or otherwise traumatise. Their self-view may be seriously flawed and damaged and they may see themselves as unclean, unwanted, unprotected or unlovable. I feel that one of our first responsibilities is to do no more harm, perhaps by offering: a warm welcome, whilst being respectful of their boundaries undemanding kindness and friendship whilst they acclimatise and check us out acceptance of the limits on what they are able and willing to offer in return gentle encouragement to become flexibly involved in activities and groups contact with mature believers who already have their own needs met understanding that their behaviour may be unpredictable and confusing at times I guess that one of the dangers for a survivor is that if they maintain privacy and emotional safety they are liable to come over as cool, distant and less able to ‘commit’ to church. The response they receive may also be cool and distant, confirming their damaged self-view and making integration still more difficult. On the other hand, if survivors willingly open up and show their needs, then very caring and well-intentioned folk may unwittingly take away from the survivor’s own capability and responsibility with an overly caring or even ‘smotherly’ approach. I am acutely aware that to be a trustworthy and reliable source of help to traumatised folk we need to keep our promises. I feel that means only offering what we are able to commit to them in the long-term. Many believers feel drawn to offer TLC to lonely hearts. But those with unmet attachment needs have, surely, one of the deepest, darkest forms of emptiness and isolation at the core of their being. A Mum or Dad ‘surrogate’ would have to be available 24 hours a day for around 18 years, and then some! None of us could give that kind of commitment and anyway, would it help the survivor? However much the child in me may dream and hope that some saintly older chap will ask my husband’s permission to adopt me, it wouldn’t do the biz! I need to be growing in self-nurturing, self-respect, self-confidence and self-control and what helps is consistent, affirming, persevering support with no strings attached. The kind of support I envisage is a group of mature believers within a fellowship who are able to share different aspects of ‘being Jesus’ to people with complex needs, to be non-judgemental and reassuring, with enough understanding to avoid doing harm, and supportive to the survivor in their therapeutic work. Sometimes as Christians we can come across as having all the answers to ‘the world, the universe and everything’ but, whilst we know a Man who has, we need humility to accept that our own journey, training and perspective may leave us seriously flawed as advisors, however much we want to help. Being misunderstood is an almost inevitable part of relationships for survivors, for those with dissociative disorders they can seem like an unmapped minefield. I feel we need to listen carefully, try and understand what we’re hearing, but accept that their journey may have taken them through experiences, thoughts and feelings which are way outside our sphere of understanding. We may all be journeying in the same direction, but if survivors are to move forward, they have to recognise, accept and start from where they are now. Lets not rush to advise, correct or rebuke but rather try and gauge where their understanding is and be gently supportive of their faith aims. Until their understanding and beliefs have moved on at every level of awareness they may well be prone to times of profound uncertainty, doubt and despair. Stick with them, they’ll come through. These are resilient, creative people who are not called ‘survivors’ for nothing! What about ‘triggering off’, or hitting the ‘crumple buttons’? I know that some years back I was very much searching for purely spiritual answers to my difficulties and very tenderised to respond to leadership figures. Unfortunately my self-protection was poor and I still carried irrational amounts of guilt for, well, most things really, stopping just short of third world debt! This left me vulnerable to being misunderstood, mishandled and re-traumatised by people with the best of intentions. For example, I was very aware of a very deep longing to know God as a dad. On one occasion, after hearing teaching on the Fatherhood of God, those of us aware of a lack in our own hearts were encouraged to come to the front of the church for prayer. Ever hopeful I presented myself in the line before the leader and waited until he laid hands on my head. After some kind and gentle words from him I connected with some deep pain and began crying like a baby, which was perceived as my having an orphan spirit, which needed deliverance. I was grabbed about my middle and held up, with all sorts of unknown hands laid on my head and shoulders whilst a couple of dozen people prayed loudly for the spirit to leave me. Inwardly I dissociated to a lonely but familiar place, my body falling in a heap on the floor, where I was left entirely alone to ‘rest in the Holy Spirit’. Don’t get me wrong, I know that these people meant me no harm and felt they were doing what was right. But because dissociation was out of their sphere of experience they misunderstood what was happening. When offering interventions to vulnerable people we do need to bear in mind that they may be unduly people pleasing and uncritical in their approach such that they may never tell us how much we have hurt them. And what was I hoping for? To somehow ‘feel’ fathered like someone who had a loving dad? God may have chosen to give me a flash of new awareness and wonderful feelings at that time, but over the years He mostly seems to gently keep reminding me of His promises. “In this world you will have trouble, but take heart, I have overcome the world.” I’m reminded of a picture I once had when praying with someone. The image is of a little girl curled up in the corner of a cold, dark cellar. In the opposite corner a tiny flame appears which slowly forms into a quietly seated Jesus. Once she is brave enough to peep out between her fingers He slowly begins to write on the wall to either side of Him, ‘I love you’, ‘I will not harm you’, I will protect you’, ‘You can trust me’. Where He has written the wall is lit up with glowing colour, and the light and warmth are gently moving round the room towards the little girl. When she looks anxious He pauses. When she is secure He writes a little more. He is taking the initiative but is allowing her to set the pace. Can we do that for the little ones we meet? Can we give them help and hope without harm? Aahbee, June 2004 [back to top...] The Place Of Spirituality In Therapy It might be said that spirituality is about how we make sense of our purpose and meaning in life and is often used to describe our awareness of the transcendent. Given that a person's faith, spirituality and belief are a resource to them, it would seem quite reasonable that it should be incorporated as part of the therapeutic process of recovery. Indeed the National Institute for Clinical Excellence guidelines now include the "spiritual needs" of patients as an integral part of the provision that should be catered for in all healthcare settings. However, in our pluralistic, increasingly secular society with its post-modern culture there is a growing interest and engagement with issues of spirituality, which is happening outside of the settings of conventional religion. Part of this can be explained, not so much as a loss of traditional faith, but more in terms of loss of trust in the establishment (governments, institutions, churches and so on) and the abandonment of the traditional meta-narratives that had become the accepted explanations for life. This has given rise to a startling trend in many parts of our western culture where regular church attendance has dropped from 40% of the population to less the 2% in some places and with people currently leaving churches across the denominations at the rate of 3,000 people a week in the U.K. This pattern is also matched by an increase in interest in all aspects of spirituality and by many people seeking to pursue their journeys of faith outside of church or conventional religious structures. There is also an increasing trend in the informal and voluntary sectors to include spirituality as part of the provision of resources and services that they make available to their client groups. In the last year I have been approached by organisations and projects concerned with mental health, addictions, the elderly and special needs who are all looking at addressing the issues of spirituality in one form or another. Some, such as Age Concern England, are looking at it from an almost wholly secular perspective. With this as a context, how are we to understand issues of faith and spirituality and how, for those of us in the therapeutic arena, can we address this sensitively and effectively for those people that we are seeking to help on their journeys of recovery? How do we address the spiritual needs of those people who have a different faith or belief from ourselves or indeed those of no particular faith at all? Equally as challenging can be those people who claim the same faith as ourselves but seek to express it very differently. An understanding of the interface of theology and therapy, or spirituality and psychology, is going to be important for therapists if the spiritual needs of those in recovery are not only going to be addressed, but are to be a true resource for them on their journey to wholeness. This will mean that we will need to have some resources and models to help our own understanding of spirituality in both clinical practice and pastoral care. It will also mean that we will need an appreciation of the different 'stages and states' of faith to understand why and how these are different. Finally, but equally importantly, we will need to address our own reactions to people and their beliefs, when these are different from our own, perhaps strongly held, beliefs. Without this we will risk, as in any other areas of therapy, being an obstacle to recovery rather than an aid to it. Mike Fisher, 2006 [back to top...]
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The Spiritual Dimension of Recovery

The value of love, acceptance and support

Unpredictable and confusing behaviour

Understanding Spirituality and Faith-Fowler’s Stages or States of Faith

Helpful, Hopeful or Harmful – how is church life for survivors?

The Place of Spirituality in Therapy

The value of love, acceptance and support

What we believe will make an extraordinary difference to our life
Being believed in will also profoundly alter how we view ourselves and the world
Our faith, belief and spirituality is therefore a very important resource that is available to us to help us deal with life’s demands
As a Christian, our faith, belief and spirituality provides, knowledge, hope and experience of “help” beyond ourselves. It also enables us to understand that we are not alone. We are also part of a body of believers who can provide mutual encouragement, support, prayers and fellowship
It is also evident from many sources that love, acceptance and support are the most critically important ingredients for any survivor of early life trauma and abuse to receive and experience, if they are ever going to learn to trust again and to be able to make a journey of recovery
Even if someone has been ritually abused and is not able to face going into a church, or taking part in church activities, the previous five statements still hold true
If the church fails to reach out to survivors and provide an accepting and containing environment then many survivors may be denied the very resources they need to recover
However this is not an alternative to appropriate therapeutic help; it is complimentary to it

[back to top...]

Unpredictable and confusing behaviour

It may sometime be alarming when individuals behave in an unpredictable or inconsistent way
We may find some other people’s responses perplexing or even difficult and will want to try to make sense of what we encounter
It may be easy for us to come to judgments about the other person based on our own experience. We may feel intolerance of behaviour that we ourselves have not experienced and may dismiss it as unreasonable without understanding why it is happening
“The behaviour is not the problem it is the solution to the problem – so what is the problem?”
If we can appreciate that a person’s behaviour is their way of dealing with the difficulties that they experience, even if it is not the best way, then it may make it easier for us to accept them
Examples of such behaviour might be:
- Being unreliable
- Difficulty in letting anyone too close to them
- Being over compliant and never saying “No”
- Over-reacting, being defensive or misinterpreting intentions
- Not being able to cope with Sunday services
- Being very communicative one minute and not the next
- Behaving bizarrely
- Outbursts of emotions
Can we be a safe, containing and caring community?

[back to top...]

Challenges for the church

Many survivors of extreme early life trauma, childhood sexual abuse and ritual abuse attempt to turn to the church for hope, succour and support
For some, this is a life transforming experience that sustains them through life and supports therapeutic recovery
For others, the church is experienced as a difficult place, where the survivor finds it hard to fit in. For survivors of ritual abuse, particularly satanic ritual abuse, there will be a constant tension that many church rituals and symbols will have been used in an inverted way as part of the abuse and torture they will have experienced.
For them, many aspects such as:
- The communion
- The cross
- Circles of people
- Candles
- Chanting
- Particular words and liturgies
Will trigger traumatic memories, fear, anxiety and flashbacks which will be painful, frightening and difficult to handle
Love, acceptance, listening without intrusion will be important. Many who now hold a Christian faith struggle with not being accepted when they cannot take part in activities or services
Will they be accepted in your church?

[back to top...]

Good practice by the church

What helps

Continued reminders that God loves them
Inclusion without intrusion
Finding out from them what helps
Listening rather than telling
Non judgmental acceptance
Regular prayer support
Practical help where needed
Encouragement
Visiting them as a person (not a survivor)

What doesn’t help

To be told that all you need is to...
- Trust God
- Believe in Jesus
- Receive the Holy Spirit
- Take it to the cross
Oppressive and rigid teaching
Demands that to be a good Christian you must;
- Take part in meetings regularly
- Read the Bible every day
- etc
Over emphasis on the need to forgive
A compliance to be under authority or control
Being told that if you had faith you would...
Or... that it’s a sin not to behave normally
Heavy deliverance and spiritual abuse
Expecting a quick recovery

[back to top...]

Good practices in caring

An open minded attitude and the willingness to think the unthinkable and believe the unbelievable.
A willingness to listen without judging
Don’t try and take over
Don’t try and make the survivor feel guilty about not seeing their family if they were the perpetrators.
Don’t try and fit their experiences into what fits your world.
They came a different way!
Don’t tell them that their “other personalities don’t exist” – they do for them, and are part of their survival system.
Try to get them to stay “in the present” when they are having a flashback to traumatic events, - look at the room, the pictures, feel the floor underneath your feet etc.
The survivor needs to find someone who is entirely dependable for a time, in order to find their own independence. We all thrive with a secure attachment.
Survivors of childhood sexual, physical and emotional abuse were wounded, violated and traumatised – they often come over as mistrustful and defensive.
When they come to trust you they want to be with you every moment, which can be very wearing.

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Caring guidelines

Don’t try to be saviour of the world – the post is filled!
Rescuing – don’t – look at own limitations
Abandoning – don’t - be reliable and consistent
Boundaries – time, type of contact, not giving more than can be delivered long term
Being prepared to “be there”
Not disempowering

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caring for the carers

Develop or have pastoral care guidelines
Provide supervision and support
Recognise that carers can sometimes get traumatised
Build in accountability whilst respecting confidentiality
For people with high needs adopt a team approach
Respect the need for anonymity – not everyone needs to know – abuse survivors will feel re-abused if they are talked about
Always consult the person concerned before liaising with other agencies
Prayer support for pastoral carers
If high level of trauma, get supervision and support from outside

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Understanding Spirituality and Faith-Fowler’s Stages or States of Faith

Many survivors of early life trauma, childhood sexual abuse and ritual abuse turn, at some point in their life, to the church or to faith communities for support and hope. Tragically not everyone finds the acceptance and encouragement that was hoped for in such settings. Some even find they are subjected to oppressive teaching, control, and misunderstanding when their behaviour seems perplexing to others.

Given that a person’s faith, beliefs and spirituality are a resource to them, particularly in times of tragedy and pain, how are we to make sense of how other people express their faith or beliefs? This question does not only apply to understanding of values and spirituality when we encounter people of another faith (or no faith at all), but also within the diversity of expressions of Christianity. Antagonism and misunderstanding can arise through a lack of appreciation of the notion of “spiritual journeying” and the diverse ways of expressing faith. One contribution that can assist in this appreciation is James Fowler’s concept of the six stages (or states) of faith shown below.

FOWLER’S STAGES OR STATES OF FAITH

Stage I - The Innocent - (Intuitive - Projective)
Characteristics - Fantasy, Stories, Experiences and Imagery, both real and fantasy. Children tend to live in this stage, in a magical world where their understanding of God is usually found through family. They believe anything is possible.

Stage II - The literalist (Mythical - Literal)
Characteristics - able to organize experiences and categorise them. Ideas and stories are interpreted literally, as are adults’ explanations of faith. They begin to identify with a faith community, which may be religiously, politically or culturally defined. They locate themselves within the story they are told – the story that tells you who you are. Unable to stand back and view events from the position of a neutral observer and unable to reflect on own position or the position of others from a value free perspective.

Here the child typically makes strong associations with people like us and is aware and often critical of those who are different. (Jamieson, 2002:114)

Fowler suggests that 20% of the adult population may best be characterised by this kind of faith. These adults tend to appreciate churches where a more literal interpretation of Scripture is encouraged, along with offering security, deep conviction and commitment. God is viewed as stern, and being a just but loving parent, with rules and authoritative teaching being the norm.

Stage III - The Loyalist (Synthetic - Conventional)
This is a Conformist Stage in which the individual is acutely tuned to the expectations and judgements of significant others. It is a Tribal stage, where being part of the tribe is powerfully significant to the person - and being in a community of like-minded believers. May hold deep convictions and be loyal and committed workers and servers. Beliefs are typically not examined critically and are therefore tacitly held to. That is, they know what they know but are generally unable to tell you how they know something is true, except by referring to an external authority outside of themselves - “The Bible says” or “My Pastor teaches this”.

We are socialized into our faith community, “ catching” our values and ways of thinking unconsciously from our peer and subculture. We are immersed in the thought system of our faith community like a fish that does not perceive the water it which it swims. (Testerman, 1995)

They predominantly have a vision of God as an external, transcendent being with little reference to God as an imminent indwelling God. Among adults, this is the Stage most commonly found amongst church members. Most find enormous meaning in their faith, as they share in church activities - worship, prayer, mission, teaching etc.

Many express a strong sense of belonging, “being at home” or having “arrived”. Emphasis is on the “family of believers”.

Dualistic thinking is very prevalent: Christian/non-Christian; saved/unsaved, along with being a part of, and being accepted by the faith community.

Stage IV - The Critic (Individual - Reflective)
If the traditional answers stop making sense, Stage III collapses. The transition to Stage IV is probably the most difficult as it involves the greatest dismantling of what has been learnt and experienced. Often major upset precipitates transition beyond Stage III. It is characterised by an overt sense of self that will take responsibility for own actions, beliefs and values, and is prepared to stand against “significant others” of the past. This is often a courageous and difficult journey, with an emphasis on objectification and examination of the beliefs, values and expectations they have received.

The Critic is able to stand alone in a group, and look in from the outside, to weigh up and evaluate without surrendering to the need to be “a part of”. There is increased resistance to just conforming to teaching, beliefs and actions, without some degree of analysis. In their critical examination, flaws, inconsistencies, over-simplification and unanswered aspects are all considered in order to be understood and reconciled. There is a greater emphasis on authenticity, congruence and consistency, along with autonomy and individual accountability. Relationships are no longer essential for the formation of personal identity. A person’s reference group tends to widen enormously. Symbols and rituals are only significant if they are experienced as carrying meaning and illustrating truth. Intellectual stimulus and challenge, along with debate are valued. Dependence on external sources of authority is resisted, as is the lack of freedom of choice.

Stage V - The Seer (conjunctive)
This Stage is not so easy to explain, as it encapsulates what seems to be contradicting aspects which, in themselves, are the heart of Stage V. The confident self, in a deeply rooted faith, becomes humbly aware of the depth of both the unconscious and the unknown. This process often coincides with the realization of the power and reality of death. This stage is seldom reached before midlife. In some respects, this Stage is similar to the wonders lived in Stage 1.

Seeing once more through the lens of the imagination and intuition, we again come to live in a numinous universe of mystery, wonder and paradox. (Testerman, 1995)

People at this stage love mystery and relish the vastness of the unknown; realizing that the more they understand, the more ‘unknown’ is opened up before them. They accept ‘…as axiomatic that truth is more multidimensional and organically interdependent than most theories or accounts of truth can grasp.’ (Fowler, 1995:186)

Characterised by:

A need to face and hold together polar tensions and opposites: young/old, male/female etc.
A felt sense that truth is more multifarious and complex than most of the either/or categories of earlier stages. An acceptance of ambiguity, diversity and plurality.
An increased receptivity to move beyond the meaning of Stage IV and embrace mystery in symbols, myths and liturgy in a post critical way.
A genuine openness to the truth, traditions, and community other than one’s own (not to be equated with relativistic agnosticism.) Whilst holding a deep and committed belief, there is a much greater capacity to approach the world from a more embracing and inclusive position. Stage V believers can be a threat to others who want a “clearly defined” true-believers’ position, rather than the open uncompromising humility that is often encountered.

Stage VI - The Saint (Universalizing)
This Stage is the most difficult to understand. It is also very rare. It involves two major transitions:

“Decentralization from self”, in which the self is removed from the centre of the locus of the individual’s life. It is a move beyond the usual human obsessions with survival, security and significance, coupled with a continued widening of the circle of “those who count”.
A shift to the complete acceptance of the ultimate authority of God in all aspects of life.

Fowler found that only 1.6% of the population operated at this stage. Of those over 61 years of age, examples might be Mother Teresa, Dietrich Bonhoeffer and Martin Luther King.

In identifying the differing stages of faith and the progression through which an individual may travel, Fowler does not seek in any way to diminish or to imply that one stage is better than another. Rather, as Jamieson, (2002:111) writes of Fowler’s work, he is more interested in ‘how we believe (what he calls the operations of faith) than the what we believe (the contents of our faith).’ The earlier stages are identified with stages of childhood development and growing maturation. Just as it is critical for an adult to have had the space to mature through each stage of human development to grow into a secure functioning person, so too is the process of going through each stage of faith crucial to the development of an individual’s faith. Without the journey, much can be lost. However, it is important to emphasise that this journey has nothing to do with the amount of faith someone has, rather the type or way it is expressed.

As Testerman describes,

‘Life can be viewed as a quest in which we seek to understand the world we find ourselves in, discover its meaning, and locate ourselves within the grand scheme of things. As we go about the lifelong business of constructing our intelligible worlds, we pass through different eras or stages in our life, in each of which we approach our meaning-making task quite differently.’ (Testerman, 1995)

Progression to another stage of faith occurs when the current stage collapses. In the same way that a child goes to school and begins to realise that Mummy and Daddy don’t know everything, teacher knows more, so for many Christians, there comes a painful and heart searching time where they can no longer accept the totality of what their Vicar, Minister, Pastor says These transitions from one stage of faith to another can often be very disturbing. Another way of thinking of the stages is like a lens through which we view the world as we journey through life.

Fowler’s work is based on his observations and listening to of hundreds of people. Although he speaks primarily of Christians, the same holds true of those of other faiths or none who are seeking to make sense of the world and their experience of living in it.

As we work with our staff teams and with service users, words they use or values they hold will all be affected by the stage they are at in the way they express their faith. Recognising the diversity and benefits of our differing expression, rather than focussing on the differences, can only seek to enhance our lives together as human beings made in the image of God.

Mike Fisher

References:
Fisher, L. (2004) Shaftsbury Society, C.P.D. Programme –Christian Distinctiveness (unpublished)
Fisher, M. (2003) Willows Counselling Course – Christian Diversity (unpublished)
Smith, Marion (2003) Ways of Faith – A handbook of adult faith development: North of England Institute for Christian Education, Durham
Jamieson, Alan (2002) A Churchless Faith GB: Cromwell Press
Testerman, John (1995) ‘Stages of Faith’ in A Today: Magazine Archives: Mar/Apr 1995;articles
Fowler, James W. (1995) Stages of Faith USA: Harper Collins

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Child Abusers in the Church

Notes for Leaders

The Church aspires to be open to all. This lays it open to exploitation by those who would use it to gain access to children for the purposes of sexual abuse. At the same time it has a ministry to such offenders, and to those considered to be at risk of offending.

This calls for understanding and sensitivity in Church leaders.

A declaration of repentance, however sincere, should NEVER be taken as a guarantee against further offending.
There is no cure for sex offending: treatment is available, but at best it equips an offender with techniques for identifying problematic situations, and for avoiding them.
In an institutional setting such as a Church congregation, abuse rarely starts with an act, which constitutes an offence. Offences are preceded by a process of grooming by which abusers commend themselves to the children that they wish to target, and to the adults who would protect them (including Church leaders). Grooming may continue over many months or years.
A useful technique for Church leaders is to negotiate a “Contract” between themselves and the “risky adult”. Such Contracts are not intended to be enforceable at law, but to lay down the mutual expectations of the parties.
Such a Contract should be written to meet the needs of the particular case, but certain provisions are typical, i.e.:
1. The “risky adult” would typically agree to take no part in the children’s ministry of the Church, and to have no unaccompanied contact with any child. (If the worship pattern permits this is often best achieved by an agreement not to attend services at which children would be present, such as Family Services).
2. The Contract should make it clear that any deviation from its terms is likely to result in a referral to the statutory agencies (the Police and/or Social Services).
3. The “risky adult” should not take any official role in the life of the Church, which would give respect, and authority that could then be used to gain trust and access to children and families.
The manner in which information is imparted to the congregation is also important. Leaders need to be aware that it may include victims of the offender who have not yet come forward, or been identified as such. This requires special sensitivity in the public profession of repentance.
Church leaders should never be afraid to seek advice. A situation, which to them may seem novel and frightening, will be familiar and manageable to others. In the Church of England expert advice is available in each Diocese from the Bishop’s Officer for Child Protection.
If the “risky adult” leaves your Church you should do your utmost to notify the Church to which he or she is going, and also inform the Bishop’s Officer for Child Protection. Elizabeth Penlington

Elizabeth has recently joined the Committee of TAG and looks forward to meeting us at the Conference in April. She has worked as a Consultant Pediatrician before retiring from the post of Principal Clinical Medical Officer for Children in Coventry. For 15 years she served as Adviser for Child Protection to the Bishop of Coventry, advising and training clergy and parishioners.

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Helpful, Hopeful or Harmful – how is church life for survivors?

I have long believed that one of the safest places on earth for survivors of neglect, trauma and abuse should be in the heart of a caring Christian community. Please hear me when I say ‘one’ of the safest places. I’m not trying in any way to denigrate other therapeutic settings, caring communities or faiths. But rather, as a survivor and a Christian myself, I’m taking a moment to stand back and consider some of the ways that help or harm may come to survivors who venture into our midst.

Inevitably my views have been drawn from my own experiences, as well as those of folk I have met in various roles as a friend, counselee, counsellor or health professional. So please accept this offering as undoubtedly flawed and incomplete but aimed at help not harm.

Some of the things survivors may have gone through before they ever get inside a church include; attachment figures who fail to recognise or deliver their needs, or perhaps abandon them altogether; authority figures who ignore, manipulate, humiliate, intimidate, misuse or abuse; siblings or piers who overshadow, dominate, control or abuse; life partners who drain resources, betray or otherwise traumatise. Their self-view may be seriously flawed and damaged and they may see themselves as unclean, unwanted, unprotected or unlovable.

I feel that one of our first responsibilities is to do no more harm, perhaps by offering:

a warm welcome, whilst being respectful of their boundaries
undemanding kindness and friendship whilst they acclimatise and check us out
acceptance of the limits on what they are able and willing to offer in return
gentle encouragement to become flexibly involved in activities and groups
contact with mature believers who already have their own needs met
understanding that their behaviour may be unpredictable and confusing at times

I guess that one of the dangers for a survivor is that if they maintain privacy and emotional safety they are liable to come over as cool, distant and less able to ‘commit’ to church. The response they receive may also be cool and distant, confirming their damaged self-view and making integration still more difficult. On the other hand, if survivors willingly open up and show their needs, then very caring and well-intentioned folk may unwittingly take away from the survivor’s own capability and responsibility with an overly caring or even ‘smotherly’ approach. I am acutely aware that to be a trustworthy and reliable source of help to traumatised folk we need to keep our promises. I feel that means only offering what we are able to commit to them in the long-term. Many believers feel drawn to offer TLC to lonely hearts. But those with unmet attachment needs have, surely, one of the deepest, darkest forms of emptiness and isolation at the core of their being. A Mum or Dad ‘surrogate’ would have to be available 24 hours a day for around 18 years, and then some! None of us could give that kind of commitment and anyway, would it help the survivor? However much the child in me may dream and hope that some saintly older chap will ask my husband’s permission to adopt me, it wouldn’t do the biz! I need to be growing in self-nurturing, self-respect, self-confidence and self-control and what helps is consistent, affirming, persevering support with no strings attached.

The kind of support I envisage is a group of mature believers within a fellowship who are able to share different aspects of ‘being Jesus’ to people with complex needs, to be non-judgemental and reassuring, with enough understanding to avoid doing harm, and supportive to the survivor in their therapeutic work. Sometimes as Christians we can come across as having all the answers to ‘the world, the universe and everything’ but, whilst we know a Man who has, we need humility to accept that our own journey, training and perspective may leave us seriously flawed as advisors, however much we want to help.

Being misunderstood is an almost inevitable part of relationships for survivors, for those with dissociative disorders they can seem like an unmapped minefield. I feel we need to listen carefully, try and understand what we’re hearing, but accept that their journey may have taken them through experiences, thoughts and feelings which are way outside our sphere of understanding. We may all be journeying in the same direction, but if survivors are to move forward, they have to recognise, accept and start from where they are now. Lets not rush to advise, correct or rebuke but rather try and gauge where their understanding is and be gently supportive of their faith aims. Until their understanding and beliefs have moved on at every level of awareness they may well be prone to times of profound uncertainty, doubt and despair. Stick with them, they’ll come through. These are resilient, creative people who are not called ‘survivors’ for nothing!

What about ‘triggering off’, or hitting the ‘crumple buttons’? I know that some years back I was very much searching for purely spiritual answers to my difficulties and very tenderised to respond to leadership figures. Unfortunately my self-protection was poor and I still carried irrational amounts of guilt for, well, most things really, stopping just short of third world debt! This left me vulnerable to being misunderstood, mishandled and re-traumatised by people with the best of intentions. For example, I was very aware of a very deep longing to know God as a dad. On one occasion, after hearing teaching on the Fatherhood of God, those of us aware of a lack in our own hearts were encouraged to come to the front of the church for prayer. Ever hopeful I presented myself in the line before the leader and waited until he laid hands on my head. After some kind and gentle words from him I connected with some deep pain and began crying like a baby, which was perceived as my having an orphan spirit, which needed deliverance. I was grabbed about my middle and held up, with all sorts of unknown hands laid on my head and shoulders whilst a couple of dozen people prayed loudly for the spirit to leave me. Inwardly I dissociated to a lonely but familiar place, my body falling in a heap on the floor, where I was left entirely alone to ‘rest in the Holy Spirit’. Don’t get me wrong, I know that these people meant me no harm and felt they were doing what was right. But because dissociation was out of their sphere of experience they misunderstood what was happening. When offering interventions to vulnerable people we do need to bear in mind that they may be unduly people pleasing and uncritical in their approach such that they may never tell us how much we have hurt them. And what was I hoping for? To somehow ‘feel’ fathered like someone who had a loving dad? God may have chosen to give me a flash of new awareness and wonderful feelings at that time, but over the years He mostly seems to gently keep reminding me of His promises. “In this world you will have trouble, but take heart, I have overcome the world.”

I’m reminded of a picture I once had when praying with someone. The image is of a little girl curled up in the corner of a cold, dark cellar. In the opposite corner a tiny flame appears which slowly forms into a quietly seated Jesus. Once she is brave enough to peep out between her fingers He slowly begins to write on the wall to either side of Him, ‘I love you’, ‘I will not harm you’, I will protect you’, ‘You can trust me’. Where He has written the wall is lit up with glowing colour, and the light and warmth are gently moving round the room towards the little girl. When she looks anxious He pauses. When she is secure He writes a little more. He is taking the initiative but is allowing her to set the pace. Can we do that for the little ones we meet? Can we give them help and hope without harm?

Aahbee, June 2004

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The Place Of Spirituality In Therapy

It might be said that spirituality is about how we make sense of our purpose and meaning in life and is often used to describe our awareness of the transcendent. Given that a person's faith, spirituality and belief are a resource to them, it would seem quite reasonable that it should be incorporated as part of the therapeutic process of recovery. Indeed the National Institute for Clinical Excellence guidelines now include the "spiritual needs" of patients as an integral part of the provision that should be catered for in all healthcare settings.

However, in our pluralistic, increasingly secular society with its post-modern culture there is a growing interest and engagement with issues of spirituality, which is happening outside of the settings of conventional religion. Part of this can be explained, not so much as a loss of traditional faith, but more in terms of loss of trust in the establishment (governments, institutions, churches and so on) and the abandonment of the traditional meta-narratives that had become the accepted explanations for life.

This has given rise to a startling trend in many parts of our western culture where regular church attendance has dropped from 40% of the population to less the 2% in some places and with people currently leaving churches across the denominations at the rate of 3,000 people a week in the U.K.

This pattern is also matched by an increase in interest in all aspects of spirituality and by many people seeking to pursue their journeys of faith outside of church or conventional religious structures. There is also an increasing trend in the informal and voluntary sectors to include spirituality as part of the provision of resources and services that they make available to their client groups.

In the last year I have been approached by organisations and projects concerned with mental health, addictions, the elderly and special needs who are all looking at addressing the issues of spirituality in one form or another. Some, such as Age Concern England, are looking at it from an almost wholly secular perspective.

With this as a context, how are we to understand issues of faith and spirituality and how, for those of us in the therapeutic arena, can we address this sensitively and effectively for those people that we are seeking to help on their journeys of recovery? How do we address the spiritual needs of those people who have a different faith or belief from ourselves or indeed those of no particular faith at all? Equally as challenging can be those people who claim the same faith as ourselves but seek to express it very differently.

An understanding of the interface of theology and therapy, or spirituality and psychology, is going to be important for therapists if the spiritual needs of those in recovery are not only going to be addressed, but are to be a true resource for them on their journey to wholeness. This will mean that we will need to have some resources and models to help our own understanding of spirituality in both clinical practice and pastoral care. It will also mean that we will need an appreciation of the different 'stages and states' of faith to understand why and how these are different.

Finally, but equally importantly, we will need to address our own reactions to people and their beliefs, when these are different from our own, perhaps strongly held, beliefs. Without this we will risk, as in any other areas of therapy, being an obstacle to recovery rather than an aid to it.

Mike Fisher, 2006

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